In public places, everyone has the right to “reasonable accommodations.” In public schools, students have the right to additional accommodations, including Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) geared to learning style. In both cases, the aim is to ensure that everyone, regardless of ability or disability, has equal access to opportunity, services, and other quality-of-life aspects.
That’s how it works in theory. In practice, many a parent-school clash starts with a disagreement over “reasonable” accommodations. When your child isn’t getting the accommodations you expected, it’s tempting to dig in and demand your family’s rights—but even if that gets results in the short run, it sows the seeds for further clashes.
The School’s Point of View
There’s more to getting accommodations than “I’ll tell you what my child needs, and you provide it.” It may work out that way if the school has experience with similar needs, but few schools are eager to make major adjustments for a single student. For them, it’s just one priority among a hundred others:
- Accommodating every other student with disabilities—each of whom has different needs, and each of whom comes from a different household with a different “way things are done.”
- Fielding requests from parents (some of whom invariably get nasty), teachers, and other school staff.
- Balancing the school’s budget.
- Answering to the school district, which answers to the state, which makes rules that aren’t always easy to reconcile with an individual district’s needs. (The 89th Texas Legislature session, which concluded in early June 2025, introduced over a dozen pending laws that could affect accommodations for better or worse. Watch this blog for a future post with more details.)
So, rather than blame the school for “not understanding,” try to understand their concerns as well as your own. School administrators are as human as anyone else: when you’re reasonable and empathetic, they’ll likely grant you the same courtesy.
Tips for Working with Your School District
- Know the rules, from district policies to federal laws. Review these (including any updates) before each school meeting.
- Don’t get fixated on one specific accommodation. A child struggling to concentrate might be helped by a private study area, a seat in a different part of the classroom, periodic “exercise breaks,” noise-cancelling headphones, a visual to-do list, and/or medication. It doesn’t have to be “a separate study area or else.”
- Ask children what they want: kids have great capacity for coming up with original and practical ideas.
- Bring your children to school meetings and let them share their ideas directly, via their preferred methods of communication. Don’t rush to speak for them.
- Chat with your child’s teachers outside formal meetings. Get to know them as individuals.
- Consider volunteering at the school, even if you have no time to join the PTO. There are probably opportunities that haven’t been publicized: don’t hesitate to ask.
- Whomever you interact with, treat them with the same respect you want them to give you and your child.
Moving to a New School District?
“Quality of schools” is a frequent criterion when families are in the market for a new home. Points to consider:
- Which public school/district will your new home be zoned to? (It may not be the one physically closest. Large urban areas often comprise dozens of school districts—the Houston area has over 60—and the width of a two-lane street may be the difference between two blocks to school and two miles.)
- If you’re considering a private school, how convenient will it be to your home? Have you checked the cost of tuition and all payment-plan/cost-reduction options?
- Does the school district value inclusion? Does their website include blog posts/press releases with relevant news—and images of disabled and non-disabled students mingling naturally?
- Do school curricula leave room for different learning styles?
- What extracurricular activities are available?
- Can you visit the school—preferably with your child—and see whether existing accommodations suit your family’s needs?
- If school transportation may be needed, are vehicles accessible and in good condition? Are the drivers trained in maintaining order, especially if your child is sensitive to overstimulation?
- Will teachers or school employees also be your neighbors (as in many small towns and rural areas)? Seeing your child in the everyday gives teachers a head start on understanding individual needs.
- Finally, do you and your child get “good vibes” from a school? Don’t discount intuition: it may prove your best resource for making the right decision.
Wishing all students and their parents/caretakers a joyful summer, and a happy 2025–26 school year!